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MY FERTILITY JOURNEY
 
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Below are the 4 most recent journal entries recorded in good_karma_bbw's LiveJournal:

Friday, September 16th, 2005
7:57 pm
DAY FOUR
NOTHING NEW TO REPORT.BEEN TRYING TO GET THE KITCHEN CLEAN,BUSTING MY BUTT.STILL HAVING TROUBLE SLEEPING.GIRL NAME ....JORDAN RIVER

Current Mood: blah
Thursday, September 15th, 2005
7:09 pm
DAY THREE
OK THIS WILL BE A SHORT ENTRY AS NOT MUCH HAS HAPPENED.I BOUGHT SOME OVULATION TEST KITS TO HELP TIME CONCEPTION RIGHT.AS OF YET NO SIDE AFFECTS.RANDY HASNT HAD ANY EITHER DRANK MY GREEN TEE.MY WEIGHTLOSS HAS SLOWED...ITS A LITTLE DISCOURAGING BUT I CANT EXPECT TO LOSE 30LBS A MONTH.10 A MONTH AND I SHOULD BE HAPPY.WELL I NEED TO DO THE DISHES AND CLEAN THE HOUSE...SO I GUESS ILL GO.I HAVE DECIDED THAT EVERY DAY I WILL ADD A NEW BABY NAME.SO TODAY FOR A BOY I WAS THINKING DEVIN JAMES....WE CAN CALL HIM D.J. WELL MABY I SHOULD STOP DREAMING OF BABY DUST AND TAKE A BATH IN IT.
Wednesday, September 14th, 2005
4:54 pm
DAY TWO
OK SO IV TAKEN 2 PILLS SO FAR...I FEEL FINE...I GOT A VERY ENCOURAGING CALL FROM MY FRIEND MELISSA,I DIDNT WANT TO TELL HER ABOUT MY PILLS,SHE ALSO HAS BEEN CRAVING A CHILD BUT HER BODY WONT ALLOW HER TO CARRY A BABY....I DIDNT WANT TOO RUB IT IN .I KNOW WHAT IT FELLS LIKE WHEN YOU WANT A BABY AND EVERY ONE AROUND YOU IS PREGNANT OR TRYING...IT HURTS.SO I WASNT GOING TO SAY ANYTHING IN CASE THE OVULEX DOESNT WORK.BUT MY SISTER CIARA TOLD HER ABOUT MY 35LB WEIGHT LOSS ( IM ON ATKINS ) AND THE FERTILITY PILLS.SHE SAYS SHE IS VERY PROUD AND HAPPY FOR ME.SO IT FEELS GOOD.ITS GOOD TO HAVE THE SUPPORT OF FRIENDS AND FAMILY.I COULDNT SLEEP LAST NIGHT.I AM SO HOPEFULL BUT ALSO TERIFIED THAT I WILL BE CRUSHED AGAIN .ALSO I HAVE DECIDED TO DRING GREEN TEA ONCE A DAY.I HEARD IT CAN ALSO AID IN FERTILITY.EVERY LITTLE BIT HELPS.I JOINED AN ONLINE CYCLE TRACKING SYSTEM. IT CALCULATES THE PEAK DAYS FOR FERTILITY,SO SEP. 20-23 SHOULD BE FUN (WINK,WINK).IV BEEN THINKING OF THE NAME JOY LYNNE FOR A GIRL...DREAMING OF BABYDUST

Current Mood: optimistic
Tuesday, September 13th, 2005
6:41 pm
HOPE IS IN THE AIR
TODAY I RECIVED MY PACAGE OF THE FERTILITY DRUG OVULEX....THE SUCSESS STORIES ARE AMAZING AND I HOPE TO SOON BE ONE OF THEM.WE ALSO GOT AMBROZIA FOR RANDY...SO WE ARE BOTH STARTING OUR FERTILITY PILLS TOMARROW.I WANT THIS TO HAPPEN SO DESPRATLY,THE ONLY THING I EVER REALY KNEW I WANTED TO BE WAS A MOTHER,AND OF COURSE IT'S THE ONE THING THAT IS DIFUCULT FOR ME TO GET.I FEEL LIKE CRYING WHEN I THINK OF ALL THE PEOPLE THAT TAKE GETTING PREGNANT FOR GRANTED...SOME EVEN SAY ITS A CURSE.I KNOW I WOULD BE A GOOD MOTHER AND RANDY A GOOD FATHER.ANYONE THAT KNOWS US WELL THINKS SO TO.I DONT KNOW IF I SHOULD PUT SO MUCH FAITH IN A PILL...BUT AT THIS POINT ITS MY LAST HOPE...PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET THIS WORK.I DONT THINK I CAN IMAGINE MY LIFE WITHOUT CHILDREN IN IT.I TRY NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT OFFTEN..I CAN LET IT CONSUME MY ENTIRE BEING...AND THAT IS NO GOOD.I CANT KEEP WAITING FOR MY LIFE TO START,ITS BEEN GOING AND IM LETTING IT PASS ME BY.......WELL TODAY BEGINS A NEW CHAPTER IN OUR QUEST FOR A BABY.I KNOW IM A GOOD PERSON WHO DESERVES THE HIGHEST BLESSING OF A CHILD FROM GOD...I WILL DREAM OF BABY DUST

Current Mood: hopeful
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